9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
