just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
