Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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