Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
