one might say we're banned from that church
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
