quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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