Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
