someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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