I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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