Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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