Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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