So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
