Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
