So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
