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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
