belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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