You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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