Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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