The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Pants are for mortals
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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