But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
