Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
