Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
