GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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