my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
