Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
