he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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