OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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