Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
