i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
