Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
