there was a trapeze. enough said
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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