Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
