so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
