From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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