yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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