I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do herpes really smell.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
