Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
