It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
