Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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