Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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