omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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