Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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