My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
