We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
