just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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