They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
