I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
