she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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