Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
