Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
