During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
