babies were throwing up all over the place
and she was petting her beer can
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
