I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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